Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today becuase Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.

I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you.

And this is the snack holder where I can put my beverage or, if you will, cupcake.

When I look at people I don't see colors; I just see crackpot religions.

I live in a single room above a bowling alley...and below another bowling alley.

For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?

In theory, Communism works! In theory.

Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

I believe the children are the future... Unless we stop them now!

When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Next I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

I hope I didn't brain my damage.

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Why are you pleople avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of death?

Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.

Ah, be creative. Instead of making sandwhiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.

Oh Yeah!

Gah, stupid sexy Flanders!

Back in Edinburg, we had a coal miners strike. All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive, not even Willie!

Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic food

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Eat my shorts